The Perfect Gooddump Fan Photo

She’s not a fan, hell, she doesn’t even follow me on twitter, but if anyone has a profile photo that says, “I love Gooddump” better than this, I’d love to see it. I have to wonder… is the woman in the photo shocked by something she sees in the toilet, embarrassed to be caught in [...]

A Shit to Remember

The title of my blog (Nothing like a Good Dump) is metaphorical. But sometimes I just gotta talk about that shit I took… I didn’t get to take a dump yesterday. Busy. Lazy. Whatever the reason, it never happened. When I woke up this morning, I could feel the log threatening to turtle head its [...]

Sick at home Gooddump Style

(Note: the reason I called this “gooddump style” is because who the fuck blogs when they’re too weak to sit up for more than 10 minutes at a time?) I’m home horribly sick today. I think it’s a sign that I probably drink way too much generally when I compare the flu to a hangover, [...]

The Scent of a Woman (in my crotch)

There’s that distinct scent of a woman that lingers on my dick after sex. I can even take a thorough shower and it must be that her juices have soaked into my skin. When I go to the restroom later in the day and drop my drawers, the soft, yet unmistakable smell of sex wafts [...]

Heated Toilet Seats and Ass Douching

I’ve been thinking it might be nice to have a bidet — there’s no room for one in any of the bathrooms I own or manage, but toilet paper just doesn’t seem to do it for me. I mean, sure, it wipes the shit away, but it never really feels like it’s completely clean. What [...]

Plugging the Toilet

My brother recently replaced the toilets in his house. Apparently one of his boys craps so big that he consistently plugged the toilet. This is probably pretty much a guy thing, but then Joe wasn’t that big when he started plugging toilets — it’s not like he had bowels you could park a truck in, [...]

Road Trip — Bad Music and Bad Toilets

I drove about five and a half hours on Thursday, about four hours on Friday, and then another five hours on Saturday. While it’s not that big of a deal (I’ve done plenty of 13 hour driving days in my life), it does get a little wearing being stuck alone in the car that long. [...]

The Great Toilet Seat Debate

As you know, there’s this debate about whether guys should put the seat down. Granted, when I say “debate” I mean women keep yelling at men to put the seat down and men, who prefer not to touch the lid after they’ve pissed all over the place, continue to “forget.” Let’s take the argument though [...]

Flight issues (and by issues I mean semen)

I’m on a six hour flight today, which is about as long as you can stay in the air on a single flight in the US. The main problem I have with these long flights is mid-flight horniness, and in particular, Mr. Happy getting a little too happy as I drift in and out of [...]

From passion to cum rags — life is a journey

The day you stop learning and growing is the day you die. And I know a lot of dead people. Qualifying what you should learn is like hobbling yourself — you never know what little bits of information it takes to have an epiphany. I got in an argument a little while back because I [...]