Angry at my erections

I had this worry, as I’m sure a lot of men do at some time or another, that my erections just weren’t as hard as they once were. Sure, I was worrying about this during the fourth or fifth time I was jacking off that day, but it becomes this almost self-reinforcing thing — I [...]

Pretty as a Porn Star

There’s this girl who works at the restaurant down the street from my office who looks JUST LIKE this girl I keep seeing when I’m surfing porn. She’s got the same huge tits, long hair dyed impossibly dark, and the same slutty, kind of pudgy face. I, of course, know what the porn star’s snatch [...]

Masturbatory Anti-Depressants

When I’m depressed I masturbate. A lot. I mean like 5-6 times a day if I can find the time. And with Internet porn on my computer, phone and even the big TV screen, it’s easy to find the time. And I’ve been finding a lot of time lately. Big, bouncy boobs on the screen [...]

Afternoon hardons at the conference

They’re all sitting in that big windowless ballroom looking at a PowerPoint presentation about a bus system in Idaho. A mix of men and women, wide age range, uniformly glazing over. I wonder how many guys are getting post lunch hardons? It’s a legitimate question that I can never ask from the podium. But you’ve [...]

Be my Porn

I look at a lot of porn on-line. It’s not that I love the women of porn, it’s not that I even like porn that much, but I do like orgasms. Part of Fiona’s problem with my porn is that it’s a habit — big tits and orgasms become routine. The same rule can be [...]

Social Media Masturbation

I got followed by this guy on Twitter with the handle @BloggingGenius which I thought was a pretty arrogant, presumptuous name to give yourself. @AllisonHiromi labeled it as “Social Media Masturbation.” I suppose it’s dumb of me to even take note of someone like @BloggingGenius when the Internet is filled with people who are looking [...]

Sex with Love Dolls

I posted a rather morose piece yesterday about how burning oil is akin to the black arts of necromancy — raising the dead to steal their power. It’s part of a wider thought process about laziness, idiots and death, but it led me to today’s blog. Love dolls are like corpses, therefore, sex with a [...]

The Male Horny Cycle and You

It’s funny how my sexual urges swing back and forth. I mean, I’m always up for sex, but sometimes I really need to get laid to the point that my erection is so hard it feels like my dick’s going to burst. But other times, it’s just, “Oh, well, if you want to, then sure.” [...]

Full Length Porno

So I was watching this porno at work this afternoon. I was the only one in the office, so don’t get any ideas about the kind of shop I run, even if you’re probably right. Anyhow, I don’t remember what I was searching for on YouPorn, but I came across a full length (that is, [...]

Jacking off to the Standard Fantasy

I notice my blogs haven’t had their sexual edge to them lately… I’m back to working on that large, internal business development project that took a huge chunk of my brain earlier in the year, and… yeah… I just don’t have a lot of anything left over. I’m doing two things — figuring out how [...]