Aware of being drunk

There’s this disconnected feeling I get at some point during a night of drinking… Sort of an autopilot sensation that my body and my conversation have gone on without my conscious oversight and that I’m playing catch up with myself. Let’s see… Fiona came home and needed to unwind, so we went to the pub. [...]

The Family that Drinks Together…

It was about 1:30 AM, I was at the bar in a seedy strip club with two blonde girls in their 20s while a skanky, bony stripper with, no joke, a cast on her wrist paraded around on the stage. One of the girls I was with stood up for a second and then missed [...]

Male Strippers… and me dressed as Santa…

Let’s see… I was dressed as Santa and the drag queen show had just ended and that’s when the male strippers started their thing… But I should probably give some background. A friend of mine convinced me to go to SantaCon — if you’re not familiar with it, SantaCon is a bunch of people who [...]

A week of drinking in review

Having anyone visit you in Portland means you’re going to be drinking a lot. Having someone like @Charlie_W_ who not only wants to sample Portland’s alcohol offerings but knows how to drink, oh and doesn’t seem to need much sleep… Yeah… Let’s review… We met in the Stanford’s bar at the airport at about 9:30 [...]

Bicycling Under the Influence (BUI)

When I was 17 I went to a party at some co-worker’s apartment. I was working in a stereo-typical ice cream parlor in Old Sacramento and while it’s okay to be a teenager stuck in a Old West themed ice cream joint, I’m guessing my college aged co-workers hated their jobs, and their lives for [...]

Drunk Chicks, Whiskey and Hot Tubs

I went to a party for a friend of a friend’s graduation. At 43 I was still one of the youngest people there. I’m getting really tired of growunups hiding from the economy by going back to school, but that’s not the point of this blog… It was still a fun party. We got there [...]

Drinking on the train

They say that you’re an alcoholic if you go out drinking all night and you don’t get hangovers. I just figure I’m experienced an prepared. Let’s take last night’s adventures… I was coming back from meetings in Seattle — the train is still the best way in my mind to make that trip. I don’t [...]

Fucking Drunk Girls

An honorable man never takes advantage of a drunk girl, but then why would you want to? Sure, guys want to have sex but I prefer sex with a woman who has some cognitive ability, otherwise I’d just go to the morgue and screw a corpse. Not being into necrophilia, getting a girl drunk to [...]

Bad habits that make my shit stink

Everyone knows cigars make you breath stink, but not everyone pays much attention to that nasty tar coming out of your ass the next day. It’s like the oils and smoke go straight through the system like a motorcade of stink. It seems there are a lot of things that I ingest one way or [...]

The expensive side of getting shitfaced

I drink. I drink a lot. If I was a bio-powered, alcohol burning, green machine, I’d be getting worse mileage than a Hummer. I’m not an alcoholic, but I am a heavy drinker — the difference being so subtle you’re going to have to take it up with my therapist and parole officer. Funny story [...]