Angry at my erections

I had this worry, as I’m sure a lot of men do at some time or another, that my erections just weren’t as hard as they once were. Sure, I was worrying about this during the fourth or fifth time I was jacking off that day, but it becomes this almost self-reinforcing thing — I [...]

Pretty as a Porn Star

There’s this girl who works at the restaurant down the street from my office who looks JUST LIKE this girl I keep seeing when I’m surfing porn. She’s got the same huge tits, long hair dyed impossibly dark, and the same slutty, kind of pudgy face. I, of course, know what the porn star’s snatch [...]

Masturbatory Anti-Depressants

When I’m depressed I masturbate. A lot. I mean like 5-6 times a day if I can find the time. And with Internet porn on my computer, phone and even the big TV screen, it’s easy to find the time. And I’ve been finding a lot of time lately. Big, bouncy boobs on the screen [...]

Do women really like semen?

I have to wonder if women really like the taste of semen. I don’t think I’ll ever know for sure because, as we know, women are liars. They lie to please and they lie to hurt. I know, sounds harsh and bitter, but I’m a man, and sometimes harsh and bitter is how we view [...]

Be my Porn

I look at a lot of porn on-line. It’s not that I love the women of porn, it’s not that I even like porn that much, but I do like orgasms. Part of Fiona’s problem with my porn is that it’s a habit — big tits and orgasms become routine. The same rule can be [...]

Friends/Dating/Sex OR Sex/Dating/Friends

I noted a while back that when you have sex and when you have friends seems to have gotten switched in our modern world (see Wait a sec… Is this a Date?). Let’s review: Old Method: Make Friends with Someone Get to know them, maybe by dating After awhile, if you like them, maybe you’ll [...]

Social Media Masturbation

I got followed by this guy on Twitter with the handle @BloggingGenius which I thought was a pretty arrogant, presumptuous name to give yourself. @AllisonHiromi labeled it as “Social Media Masturbation.” I suppose it’s dumb of me to even take note of someone like @BloggingGenius when the Internet is filled with people who are looking [...]

Sex with Love Dolls

I posted a rather morose piece yesterday about how burning oil is akin to the black arts of necromancy — raising the dead to steal their power. It’s part of a wider thought process about laziness, idiots and death, but it led me to today’s blog. Love dolls are like corpses, therefore, sex with a [...]

Semen — Wet or Dry, it’s Amazing Stuff

Semen is pretty amazing stuff. I mean a little goes a long ways… For example, if you’ve ever jacked off into the sink, you know that it takes a LOT of soap and water to get that nasty film off the surface of the porcelain, and that’s a fairly non-stick surface. I’ve had to deal [...]

Full Length Porno

So I was watching this porno at work this afternoon. I was the only one in the office, so don’t get any ideas about the kind of shop I run, even if you’re probably right. Anyhow, I don’t remember what I was searching for on YouPorn, but I came across a full length (that is, [...]