Pretty as a Porn Star

There’s this girl who works at the restaurant down the street from my office who looks JUST LIKE this girl I keep seeing when I’m surfing porn. She’s got the same huge tits, long hair dyed impossibly dark, and the same slutty, kind of pudgy face. I, of course, know what the porn star’s snatch [...]

My Mother’s Poetry… Yeah… about that…

My mom writes poetry. Good stuff, I’ve been told — she’s been published in plenty of magazines and even wrote a short bit of prose for one of the “When I’m and Old Woman I’ll Wear Purple” books. And I can never read her stuff. Problem is, even with the grownup relationship we’ve formed over [...]

A Woman’s Smile (and a man’s libido)

As I got coffee this morning at the hotel the young woman behind the front desk glanced up and smiled at me. That really primitive bit of my hindbrain’s hindbrain immediately thought, “she wants me” although even my hindbrain is more sophisticated than that and knows she’s just saying “hi.” But there’s something more than [...]

Fear of Food

I like to cook. Maybe part of it is that, unlike the other problems of my day, it works out, but I think the real reason is that I’ve created something and I know what’s in it. Tonight, for example, I made pasta (from scratch — takes me about as long to mash up flour, [...]

Random Intimacy

@Charlie_W_ came to visit this last week, which explains one of the reasons I haven’t been online for a week. It was sort of a week’s vacation in town, but as there was a broad from abroad, seeing my own town through her eyes made it kind of like taking a trip without leaving the [...]

My cluttered brain and you

I’m in the middle of a huge business project. It’s interesting, kind of revolutionary, and so fucking abstract even if I wanted to explain it to you, I don’t think I could. And this is kind of my life in a nutshell. @Charlie_W_ said the other day that she was surprised my psyche hasn’t splintered [...]

Uncomfortable in your own skin

Why are people so fucking afraid of doing the wrong thing? I swear most of what I complain about with gender, words, idiots, porn and the like is because people are nervous about shit that doesn’t matter. I was talking to a neighbor one summer day and I was wearing a loose summer shirt, khakis [...]

Couples at the bar

I spend too much time sitting at bars, but it gives me a chance to look around. And I find we all make assumptions about the other people at the bar. Think about two guys at a bar having a drink. Your first thought is going to be, “business associates” if they’re dressed well, or [...]

Fucking words

I say fuck a lot. I say shit a lot. I use a lot of words that some people seem to think are inappropriate — and that’s the reason I use them. If I’m dealing with a fucked up situation, I should be able to use the right words to use to describe the fact [...]

Clothes Make the Man (if you’re a shallow bastard, that is)

I posted a quickie blog on Saturday about girls dressing like girls which spawned a number of comments and a few response blogs1. I came to the conclusion that the main thing is, whether women want to appear girlie or not, is that no one wants to be a stereotype — only I’m kind of [...]