My dreams are fucking annoying

I should really consider what I drink before I sleep… I mean, I do enjoy remembering my dreams, but sometimes I’m appalled at how transparent my psyche is when I remember what it does in my conscious absence. Oh, it would be nice if it was something like a busty, curvy girl riding on my [...]

Oh, by the way, I have herpes

On the way to work the other day she brings up. “You said you’ll always be honest with me.” “Yeah…” I hate conversations that start that way. “There weren’t any women other than the ones you told me about, right?” “No, why?” “I have herpes.” I don’t have herpes, at least there isn’t anywhere I [...]

I’m too sexy for a hospital gown

I had this little mole on my face that was bugging me. My doc said I should probably have a dermatologist look at it as “hmmm, those cells look kind of basal to me…” Always nice to get a casual, “Looks like you have cancer” comment. So I waited a month to get in to [...]

Angry at my erections

I had this worry, as I’m sure a lot of men do at some time or another, that my erections just weren’t as hard as they once were. Sure, I was worrying about this during the fourth or fifth time I was jacking off that day, but it becomes this almost self-reinforcing thing — I [...]